My Thoughts on ‘Love is Blind’

If you haven’t heard of Love is Blind, where have you been? And if you’ve heard of it but haven’t watched it, I highly recommend that you do.

This post is going to contain spoilers, so if you have yet to watch the entirety of the show and are wanting to avoid having anything revealed, then you should probably come back to this later when you’ve completed the show.

The Show in General

I’ll be the first to admit this show is complete and total trash. While watching it I definitely cringed, and I definitely commented on how stupid certain aspects of it was. But I couldn’t stop watching.
I had a bit of an issue with the way the show was acting like marriage is the end goal of a relationship. As if by agreeing to get married it was like winning in a sense. But in reality, marriage is just the beginning. After the wedding, you have to actually spend your life with this person. Unless, of course, you opt for divorce, but I don’t think any of these couples were going through the process with the mindset of “I’ll just marry them for now and we can always divorce later if I decide I don’t like them.”
I also wasn’t a fan of the way they kept making it seem like wanting to find your partner to be physically attractive is a bad thing. I mean, obviously it’s not all about looks, but if you don’t find your partner physically attractive then…what’s the point? Because physical attraction does play a big role in relationships. Otherwise, if you get along with the person and are really close with them but don’t find them to be physically appealing, then aren’t you guys just friends?
I did find the psychology of the show to be quite interesting, and I’d love to read a study on how being in a pod-situation like that could potentially influence your emotions and maybe make you think you’re in love with someone when you’re not. I think I read somewhere that someone compared it to Stockholm syndrome, which I find quite interesting!

Before I dive into my opinions about the couples/members of the show, I just want to point out that I’m aware this show is edited. In fact, I found this show to be more obviously edited than other reality shows. I don’t know what it is, but I just felt more aware that editing was taking place, and that what we were shown was very likely not the reality of the situation. They likely edited the show so that we’d view each couple the way they wanted us to view them. So, my opinions that I’ve formed are based on what I see on the show, and I don’t necessarily think these are likely accurate depictions of each individual person.

Mark and Jessica

At first, I felt bad for Mark. I felt bad that he was being treated as a second choice, and that it seemed like he was being stringed along when Jessica clearly wasn’t into him. Then I stopped feeling bad for him and just felt annoyed by his naïveté. I don’t know if he actually believed everything was hunky-dory between them, or if he was just putting on a show for the cameras, but if he honestly believed there was still any hope for their relationship after she gave him sign after sign that she wasn’t ready to commit, then he’s blind as a bat. I also didn’t buy the whole “I’m not like most 24-year-olds” shtick. I feel like if you say “I’m not like most ______” chances are, you are. Also, if you’re not like most 24 year olds, then prove it through your actions. Don’t just keep saying it. I’m not saying he was immature or anything, he seemed like a perfectly fine guy, but nothing about him stood out to me as being so wildly different from most guys his age.

I know Jessica is everyone’s favourite person to hate on the show, but I don’t think she’s that bad. I honestly think anyone would be on edge in those situations, and would maybe do or say some questionable things. I know if I were on a reality TV show like that, it likely wouldn’t reflect my true character. I’d feel very weirded out by cameras following me around everywhere, feeling like I need to emote more than normal to communicate effectively on camera, or even just feeling a bit put-off about having to spend all this time with someone I’d just met – even if I was fond of them.

I don’t think her approaching Barnett so frequently was an okay thing to do, but I also think people are being a bit dramatic in how much they’re berating her about it. I think we need to consider the circumstances here, especially the fact that this show isn’t filmed over months, it’s literally a matter of weeks. So only a couple weeks ago, Barnett is telling Jessica that he’s ready to propose to her, and she’s obviously got in her mind that he’s in love with her – which is not an unreasonable conclusion to jump to when someone says they’re going to propose. Then he suddenly changes his mind, and she’s like uhhhh okay wtf just happened. So she clearly still had feelings for Mark as well, and decided to pursue that and see where that would go. But obviously she had stronger feelings for Barnett at the time, and hasn’t even had a chance to get over that before she sees him again. Because, in reality, if you thought you were about to get engaged to a guy and then he broke up with you, you would need to take time to get over that and to distance yourself from him in order to get over it. But obviously she didn’t have that time to get over him, and while I don’t necessarily think it’s 100% okay for her to repeatedly approach Barnett, I do think it was her way of trying to just deal with her feelings and work things out for herself so she could get closure. Also, when they talked at his birthday, obviously that was highly influenced by alcohol. I’d compare that to drunk-texting an ex, which many people have done, and if you have done that then you certainly cannot judge her for that moment.

I think Jessica constantly bringing up their age difference was kind of her way of giving him an ‘out’. I don’t think it was 100% her excuse for not being attracted to him, but maybe she also genuinely did feel bad about having him commit at such a young age, and was worried he’d potentially resent her for it. Because she’s going to be ready to settle down and have kids, and a lot of people at the age of 24 aren’t ready for that, even if they say they are, even if they think they are, they’re just not. Also, what’s so bad about not wanting such a huge age difference? Even if that is all it is, she just doesn’t want to date someone ten years younger than her, I think that’s fine, and she shouldn’t have to justify that. I wouldn’t want to date someone ten years older than me! For some people it works, for some it doesn’t.

I also don’t think she lead Mark on, as some people seem to accuse her of doing. Because again, she made it so blatantly obvious that she was not interested in him in that way. We all saw it. The only person who refused to see it was Mark. And, apparently, she even tried to leave the show, but wasn’t allowed to because of her contract. So imagine knowing you’re not going to commit to a person, trying to do the right thing and remove yourself from the environment, and not being able to. And I’m not blaming the show – a contract is a contract. But imagine how hard that would be, having to lie to the camera and try to act like you could potentially still be into a person just to keep up the suspense of it all. That would fuck with you.

Honestly, we’re all human, we all make mistakes, so let’s not judge her so harshly. She was also the best person on the show, and provided the most amount of entertainment. Love is Blind would be boring as hell without Jessica. The baby voice, however, can take a hike.

Amber and Barnett

I was honestly surprised by Barnett. Based on how they portrayed his behaviour in the pods compared to everyone else (basically, the way they made it seem like every other guy was committing to only one girl from the start, but he was juggling three girls), I was definitely expecting him to be acting like a bit of a player for the entirety of the show. But once he made up his mind to commit to Amber, that was it. He was committed. Good for him.

I definitely got major “i’m not like other girls” vibes from Amber during the pod phase, and I was NOT impressed. I also remember Amber saying in an interview that during the pod phase, there was a sense of “girl power” in the girl’s house, but I find that shocking because if I remember correctly, I think she was also threatening to beat people up or break their face or something if they made a move on Barnett….doesn’t feel very “girl power” to me. I definitely got the impression that Amber is crazy and very immature, especially when she kept bringing up threats of violence. Like okay, we get it. You wanna fight people. Can we move on?

I really hope the awkwardness of Amber meeting Barnett’s family was down to the way they edited it, because that was honestly painful to watch. I understand she was nervous, but the juxtaposition of her high energy, out of control giggling behaviour next to Barnett’s stoic family was so uncomfortable. I genuinely hope they did just edit it to make it seem worse than it was, because if his family is as unimpressed by her as they seemed during that clip, then that’s going to be an incredibly stressful marriage for the two of them.

It’s pretty obvious that Amber is upset with Jessica for approaching Barnett so many times, and is under the impression that Jessica was going behind her back and betraying her. But I think Amber should also be upset with Barnett. I know it was Jessica who approached him, but did he make Amber aware of the situation before she had to watch it unfold on television? Because the way Amber talks about it, it seems like she was completely unaware of those conversations throughout the filming of the show. I think Barnett should have approached Amber to make her aware of what was going on, and that Jessica was approaching him. If a girl that was interested in my boyfriend kept approaching him and speaking to him like that, I’d want to know. And if a guy was approaching me in that same scenario, I’d want to tell my boyfriend before he finds out from anyone else and gets the story twisted.

I do feel bad about how I reacted when I watched the scene where Amber talks about her finances. It wasn’t the fact that she has debt that bothers me – lots of people have debt, especially student loan debt. I know I do. But it was the way she seemed so aloof in not bothering to make even the minimum payments, and how she didn’t seem to care to build up any kind of savings. The way she talked about it, it seemed like she only cared to work to earn enough money to buy the things she wanted in the moment, and wasn’t mature enough to be smart about her finances and save for the future, or even to save for unanticipated emergencies. But then when I found out in an interview that the reason she hasn’t been paying off her debt is because she was in a deep depression and wanted to focus on taking care of her mental health, I felt bad. It was a big reminder that not everything we see on TV is the whole story or the complete truth.

Cameron and Lauren

I honestly don’t know why they were everyone’s favourite couple. I found Cameron to actually be quite creepy. I don’t know, he made me cringe the most. Especially when they’d be talking, and the way he was gazing into her eyes, like….are you even listening? It was the way people look into each other’s eyes in a romantic film when they’re about to kiss. And he seemed to need to be in physical contact with her ALL. THE. TIME. It seemed super territorial and like he was afraid she’d run away or disappear if he let her go. When he was showing her around his house and was like RIGHT NEXT TO HER or had his arm around her the whole time. Nope. Not for me. Can’t deal. Also Cameron rapping made me cringe so much. SO. MUCH.

I definitely got vibes from him that he wasn’t very experienced in relationships and didn’t know how to act, even though he said he’s been in long term relationships before. I kept getting the feeling that the nice things he said or did weren’t genuine. It was almost like he sees that that’s what the perfect boyfriend would do, or that he read somewhere that that’s what girls want, and so that’s why he does it. So that he can come across as being the perfect guy, and them having the perfect relationship.

I noticed too that Lauren kept saying she was someone who likes her own personal space, and I totally get that. Which was shocking that she seemed so okay with Cameron always being in her face 24/7. I would’ve definitely told him to take a step back if I were in her shoes. I honestly thought things wouldn’t work out between them because he did seem very clingy, and she seemed very much like someone who needs their independence.

It also seemed like their relationship lacked depth overall. I know this can be down to the editing of the show, but they never seemed to have any real, deep conversations to get to know each other on a more personal level throughout the show. It always just seemed so surface level, and whenever they would do things it was just like, “oh wow, this is so nice. This is cute. Oh wow. I love that!” I’m sure there’s more in-depth conversations happening that weren’t shown, and if there were, I wish they would’ve shown it! Otherwise their relationship just seemed very fluffy and surface level and not at all realistic.

Overall, based on what we see on the show, I didn’t think they seemed like they’d be well-suited for each other at all. In terms of their personalities, Lauren seems very bubbly and animated, and Cameron just seemed very stoic and emotionless. But, he does seem like the kind of guy that would do anything to make her happy. I just wonder if it’s because he wants to, or because he thinks that’s what a great partner should do.

Giannina and Damian

Gigi is dramatic AF. I could never handle those dramatics, but I loved watching it on TV. She also made such small things seem so earth-shattering when she would talk about them. I couldn’t stop laughing when she did the whole, “I lost my butterflies. And I’ve been trying to get them back.” thing. It just seemed so over the top and so juvenile. Like….butterflies don’t stick around forever? And in my opinion it’s better when those butterflies go away. I feel like you get those butterflies because you’re still getting to know the other person and are still a bit nervous around them, and you’re worried if you do or say the wrong thing it might turn them off. But then when those butterflies go away, to me it just means you’re so much more comfortable around them and you’re much closer to them. It just seemed so ridiculous to me.

Also, when she called Damian out about the sex thing, I laughed out loud. When she said “Do you remember you said I’m the best sex you’ve ever had? Do you notice that I’ve never said that back to you?” And he tells her that he said it one time, and she holds up three fingers to the camera to say he’s said it three times. HAHA I was so SHOCKED. I couldn’t believe she’d go there and call him out like that. Damn. Savage. She’s the queen of drama and I am here for it!

I got weird vibes from Damian and honestly can’t read him. I have nothing to base this on, but something about him seemed like he’d be lowkey controlling. I don’t know how to describe it. It felt like he was holding back his temper while the cameras were around. I’m not saying that’s true, because again I have nothing concrete to base it off of, but that’s just the vibe I got. I also got the sense that he loves the drama that Gigi brings, but at the same time just doesn’t want to have to deal with it? I feel like their relationship could always be messy and filled with drama.

I loved when Gigi’s mom threw her bouquet down in a snit when Damian said no at the altar. I also read, and saw photos, that apparently after he said no at the altar they talked it out up there and he got a chance to explain himself, and they ended up hugging and basically ending things there on peaceful terms. So I wonder if the rest was set up and fabricated because they wanted her to be overly dramatic for the ratings. Either way, I was definitely afraid for Damian when Gigi was all heated and confronting him after the ceremony!

I have a feeling that a lot of the antics and dramatics were just crafted for the sake of views and entertainment. Some the things they said and did just seemed way too unreal for me to believe it was natural and organic.

Kenny and Kelly

I found them to be the least interesting couple, but I honestly thought they were going to have the best chances of working out. Since each of their parents had only dated for a short period of time before getting married, I figured it wouldn’t seem that wild for either of them as a concept. And their families were honestly so wonderful and were so unbelievably supportive.

I was shocked at their wedding when Kelly said no. Well, kind of. They started dropping hints, but I thought maybe that was just to throw a curveball and keep us on our toes. It was a bit aggressive the way she told him to respect her decision, like she was expecting him to fight her on it. But instead he was a complete gentleman about it. I couldn’t believe his speech afterwards, it was so perfect. I would not be able to remain that composed after being rejected at the altar.

I did read, however, that they had agreed to say no prior to their wedding date, and that they had actually agreed to continue dating after the show ended. But I guess when Kelly reached out, Kenny had changed his mind. And honestly? I don’t blame him. She said frequently on the show that she wasn’t physically attracted to him and thought of him more as just a friend. I wouldn’t want to date someone who said they weren’t physically attracted to me, either.

Reunion

Overall I found the reunion to be very boring and kind of a let down. I was on my phone during most of it, to be honest.

I think Amber made herself look really bad and quite insecure when she came after Jessica in the reunion.

This didn’t seem like that type of reality show where everyone is always coming after each other and trying to attack one another, so for Amber to pull something like this and to call Jessica a bitch like that seemed very uncalled for and very unnecessary. I think she was trying to make Jessica look bad or get a reaction out of Jessica, but I honestly think Jessica handled it really well and her response was very mature. I also just think it made her look so insecure coming after her like that when it happened so long ago…like, the show was filmed back in 2018. And you’re still this heated about it? I don’t know, I would not feel threatened if a girl that liked my man kept approaching him to talk to him the way that Jessica did, because I trust my boyfriend to be open and honest with me and to not go after some other woman. So to me, the fact that Amber reacted like that means she feels threatened by Jessica’s actions, which makes me think that maybe she doesn’t trust Barnett or feels worried that he might go after Jessica. Especially the fact that she brought up that Barnett still flirts with other women, it just made Amber look like she’s not in a great situation, and I honestly felt bad for her. Nobody wants to feel insecure in their relationship. But maybe it’s not all Barnett – maybe the insecurities are something she’s brought with her. When he proposed to her, she basically forced an engagement ring onto his hand to ensure he wouldn’t stray.

The only other thing that happened during the reunion that was the least bit interesting was Carlton proposing-but-not-proposing to Diamond. I still don’t know what the hell that was all about. Carlton also seems dramatic AF and like he just wants to be in the spotlight. Like, he said it was an apology/request for friendship, but then got down on one knee and proposed with the engagement ring he picked out for her. And when she put her hand out to take the ring he made her let him put it on her ring finger….what?! I am mind-boggled. It was so bizarre and she seemed so uncomfortable. She should’ve just told him “No, we’re not doing this”. Like damn, if you want to make proper amends, just do so in private! Otherwise it just seems like it’s all for the cameras.

But everyone at the reunion honestly looked like they did not want to be there. They seemed like they were over it, and I don’t blame them. If I had closed that chapter on my life long ago when cameras stopped rolling, I wouldn’t be enthused about having to go back and relive it all again.

What are your thoughts about the show? Do you agree or disagree with me on any of the members? Do you feel like I missed something? Let me know! Because I seriously cannot stop talking about this show!